The Wire (Getting Down to It)

Pushin' it.  At this point, maybe I should just take the punch to the face.  It's almost as shameful as not saying very much at all in my blog.

There was mini-golf, and church, and naps.  It was a good day.

The pastor's topic today involved not complaining, which gives me some conviction to try to wheedle that out of my life.  Many of my problems relate back to my attitude about things, at least in my own mind.  It's a hard thing to try to change.  Sometimes I realize I've got to give it over into Someone Else's hands.

I'm thinking tomorrow I'll have some stuff to say about something interesting, like writing.  If I can stop being a slough-faced bum who wants to spend quality time with his family, that is.

Anyway, that's everything tonight.  Ciao.

More Notes on Diction and a Bit of Pontificating

Here I am at the inn, having a little downtime between rehearsal and the bachelor's party tonight.  To be honest I'm a little distracted.  There's stuff happening and it's been a busy and chaotic day so far.

I gave a lesson about diction/word choice, but I should clarify that the two things are not equal.  Diction is all about "how" you say things (a difficult conveyance for writing) and so overlaps with word choice.  That's why I used them fairly interchangeably in my last blog post.

I mentioned that I don't write much contemporary fiction.  That's because I'm not comfortable with my knowledge of how real-world people actually talk.  I don't think I quite have my finger on the pulse of the down-to-earth and the down-and-out, nor can I spin out realistically elitist phrases like I think I should if I'm going to portray the melting pot (or garden salad, if you prefer that metaphor) of diversity that is the modern world.  I'm not spot on with rhetoric and jargon used by different political camps or even the nuances of dialect differences between a popular jock and a band geek in high school.

Some of this is just me selling myself short.  I'm afraid to try, to be honest.  There's higher stakes in writing contemporary fiction, because if you paint an inaccurate picture, people get offended (for the wrong reasons) or confused, or both.  There's also my lacking sense of tact, in that if I get talking too much about what's going on in the real world all my innate prejudices and beliefs all get born out pretty quickly, and I don't even tend to believe in all the things I have guttural reactions to.

For these reasons I've largely relegated myself to the abstracted spaces of fantasy and poetry, where I can create the whole universe and the reader has to learn from me what the words mean—what the world means.  In some ways it's lazy, and it's for that reason that I hope to do more contemporary fiction writing, but so far my fear of research and mistakes has kept me from accomplishing that.

I'm also much more versed in what makes good fantasy good than the ethereal, academia-defined notions (hey look, prejudices!) of what makes good "literary" fiction.  So what I strive for is literary fantasy, which leads me to harken back towards Tolkien, Lewis, White, Graham, LeGuin, and others rather than try to pull the popular (and perhaps less substantive) work of Salvatore, Jordan, Brooks, and Martin.  Yes, I included A Song of Ice and Fire and The Wheel of Time under "less substantive" despite their being epics long enough to kill their writers before they're finished. Arguably, these extensive come from the very fact that these works are popular, but just realize I'm not knocking these guys.  I just want to do something a little different.

I aspire to write fantasy that gets put in the mainstream literary canon.  Yeah, that's a big order to fill.  To do that, I have to be twice as good as someone writing ordinary literary work, because I have to catch the eye of the mainstream audience (incidentally not the majority of readers) from my spot out in left field.  People used to do this all the time.  In my estimation some of the best writers in the last century wrote speculative fiction (fantasy or sci-fi).  Now, some of my fellow recent batch of degree-ified writers may strongly disagree with me.  But they can continue to call fantasy useless and crap and I'll continue to call Hemingway a twit who offed himself because he was too arrogant to age and die with dignity.

So yeah, there's stuff.  By the way, phrases like that one I just used are an instance of diction.  I do it because I want to relate to people, and because I like irony.  I'm a writer, and some say a rather eloquent one, but I know when you just need to relate on a vague level and not get into the boring details with people.  Sometimes I let myself go (like this blog post for example) but that's because I feel comfortable and appreciated.  And yes, I miscalculate.  My own sister checks out on me when I start talking about the fascinating etymologies of words.

I'm a language nerd.  I realize this.  No, I don't need help.  Thanks for trying.

Hearthstead, by the way, isn't one of my more "literary" attempts at fantasy fiction.  It's a bit of a superhero story wrapped in a fantasy shell, which I think makes it super awesome.  Of course, it's also not going to be intentionally subpar writing because of that.  But its themes are a little less esoteric, maybe, than "The Fairies' Game" that I wrote this spring.  Honestly I like it better.  It goes places.  To find out where it goes, of course, you'll have to read it.

Patience, young grasshopper.  Come with time, it will.  Yes, I'm aware that may have been excruciating.  Just move on with me.

By the way, the novel that I hope will be available by the end of this month is called "Ashes of Silver."  I put it in quotes because it's not published yet.  As always, I'll talk more about the book when the time is right.  Yes, I can't shut up about it.  It's my first freaking book ever that's going to come out, and I have a blog where I say whatever I want.  Of course I'm going to gush.  A little bit.  Around the finger I've got plugged in the dam for your sake.

I think that's all I have to say today.  As I said yesterday, circumstances may prevent me from blogging tomorrow, but we'll see how it goes.  Hope your weekend's chugging along nicely.

For now, though?  -shrugs-

(seriously need to think of a better ending thing)

Fan Flipping the Freak Out

Whelp, my computer is totally freaking out, so I'm backing up the important stuff before it crashes or something.  Also, I'm blogging, so that that's done.

My mac has done this before.  I think it thinks it's overheating (which it's not, after a good long break of twenty minutes or more).  This is certainly uncool, and solidifies my desire to get a desktop computer that doesn't get its fan obstructed by sitting on a bench.  If you don't hear anything else from me for a couple days, you'll know why.

For now?  -shrugs-

Last-second Evasion

Been packing/spending time with family all day.
Spent time with friends yesterday.
Rehearsal/baccalaureate tomorrow.
Commencement Saturday.
Heading home Sunday.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
So I don't really have that much to talk about.  Sorry.

Ciao.  -shrugs-

The Oncoming Storm

So there's gonna be a thunderstorm.  I was gonna save this blog for later, after I'd done a good bit of writing, but I might lose my chance if I wait too long.  So here it is:

As of today I know it's over.  The big projects I was worried about are finished.  There's only one thing left to do, and that's writer's workshop.  The part that I love.  I have a story to finish, and I don't know that I'll sleep till it's done.

I keep using language like that, even though I still have two exam periods left.  Honestly it doesn't really matter to me.  What matters is this story, and I want it done.  My vision's tunneling.

I'm a writer.  It's what I am, deeper down than a lot of the things I could say I am.  If I was terrible at it, and could never write anything that meant anything for anyone other than myself, I think I would still write, and profusely.

It's been written into me, so to speak.

What's on my mind is also what's on the mind of most of my friends.  We're graduating in a little over a week.  The thought is enough to drive me bonkers.  I'm terribly excited.  I'm paralyzed with fear.  Job?  The end of general education?  The full weight of responsibility?  Student loans?  Apartment-hunting?  There's an awful lot to worry about.

Which reminds me of the scripture, which tells us not to worry about what we are going to eat or wear or how we will be sheltered, because God is with us.  I guess the best I can do is to trust him.  Not that I'm gonna bury my talent.  I know how stupid that would be.

I really don't want to spend any more time than I already have on writing that isn't related to Fairies and the torment of the sons of Naris, so I'll leave this post where it is.

It's been a ride, guys, and it's only just started.

P.S.:  If you can spot the Doctor Who reference, you win.  Not, like, a prize or anything.  You just win, because Doctor Who.  Yes.

Hamlet

There are no more classes.  There is only the work to be done.  Time to be spent.  Papers to be written.  Friends to miss already.  Foods to eat.

Hamlet to watch.

I guess I've never mentioned David Tennant.  He's super awesome.  He's a good actor, and so is Patrick Stewart.  And together, they are the respective protagonist and antagonist of a production of Hamlet.  It is a glorious thing.

He also happens to have played the Tenth Doctor on Doctor Who, which is also a thing.  And by a thing, I mean a thing that you should watch, because it's good.

This morning I played the last of the Guild Wars 2 beta up to three in the morning.  It was excellent.  There were terrible giant fiery moa birds.  We died a lot.

That's about it for today.  Talk to you tomorrow.

Sounding a Note

So I presented this video in my New Media and Society class this morning, and now I'm sharing it with everyone else.  I might do another blog today, or I might not.  We'll see.  I do have a lot of work to do preparing for my speech later today, and then working on some of the other projects I need to get done before the semester's over.

To watch the video, either follow the link above or watch it below:

Enjoy!

Cats and Immortality

My wife wants a Maine Coon if we ever get a cat.  And I have to admit that such a cat would be pretty spectacular.  The only problem with getting a cat is that I have hopes to spend stupidly high amounts of time with my cousin, who is pretty allergic to cats.  I don't really like the hairless types much, either.

I also have this thing where I love animals but I don't really care for having pets.  My family had pets when I was younger, but they all died/disappeared/were re-homed by the time I was fifteen, and I've never really wanted one again since.  I got a bit attached to the ones we had, and knowing the stories of all their endings saddens me a lot.  I also go to know how much work goes into having a pet, and I don't really want to put that much effort into something that, ultimately, is categorically incapable of loving me back.

You see, I don't believe animals have souls.  Not that I don't believe heaven will be bereft of animals.  I believe there will be all sorts of creatures in the place I'll be after the end of time, but I just don't think my dogs Buddy or Midnight will be among them.  They aren't people.  There's nothing immutable about them.  Nothing to preserve.

Actually, I feel rather strongly on this issue.  Maybe it was that one girlfriend I had who believed the opposite that fashioned this rather vehement streak in me.  Maybe it's my pain at the loss of my pets.  Maybe it was my upbringing (I will be the first to say that my parents were always loving to their animals and never spoke with bitterness about their status as not-people).  But there, that's a thing about me that you may not have heard about.  You probably haven't heard it because it's never come up, or because I keep to myself because there are those out there who would string me up by my small intestine if they heard me say that animals other than humans don't have souls.  I really rather wouldn't have that conversation.

I mentioned earlier that I love animals.  And I do.  Because while rocks and blue skies and lakes are pretty enough, those things can't touch the heart-swelling (or panic-inducing) beauty of living things, be they trees or German Shepherds or giant squid.  Earth is full of these wonderful creatures who should be respected and protected.  Just not at the cost of human life.

That's where I draw the line.  Never, when a human's life is weighed against the life of any other creature, should the other creature's life take preference.  Not unless that creature is proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be a sentient being with an immortal soul.  For me, that is one definition of the sanctity of human life.  It's also my big beef with utilitarianism.

The idea that the few be sacrificed for the many never really sat well with me.  Yeah, there's Christ.  I have feelings about that, too.  Not heretical feelings.  Just "Sometimes I wish there was a better way" feelings.

Now, though, I think I'm getting into deeper territory than this blog was intended for.  If you're interested, hit me up about truth and right and God's plan some time.  Preferably not during Finals week.  Once I have my writing degree would be nice.

Right this instant I'm going to eat some bacon and watch Star Trek:  Voyager with my wife.

Shrug out.

Positive Reinforcement

So this weekend's an open beta weekend for Diablo III.  That's cool.  I'm gonna try it for a little bit.  Then I'm gonna be done and go do more productive things.  I'll let you know how it goes, I guess.

I got some positive feedback on my manuscript, which is super cool and makes me happy.  I have to be humble about it, though, because that's the right thing to do.  Honestly, it's just encouraging when I go for a certain thing in my writing and people have the response I'm aiming for.  Makes me feel like writing is actually a thing I can do.

Last night I did more productive things with the helpful, loving prodding of my wife, and I hope to do more of the same, as I mentioned at the beginning of this blog post.  At some point I'll give you a video of something, and you'll get to watch it and have thoughts (and maybe feelings).

After my presentation, I might even post my video project up here.  We'll see how that goes.  For now, I'm gonna go.  Peace out.  Chill off.

Le Shrug

A Series of Thoughts

It rained today. Pretty hard. Hard enough to knock the cable/internet out for a few hours. Thus the post-10pm blog post today. I'm determined not to punch myself in the face again.

Last night I finished one big project. I've plenty more to go, but it feels good to have something (almost) done. I do still need to present, but yeah.

You know, what I really want to do is drop everything and write. I guess that means I'm a writer, right? I have this project for Senior Seminar, and it has captured my imagination. I like to describe it as taking inspiration from the Iliad, Arthurian legend, Roman history, and Germanic folklore. I won't say any more in case I want to publish it at some other point. Maybe I'll talk more about it later.

I finished watched that playthrough of Kid Icarus today. It was pretty good. The ending could have been better if you ask me. I think my favorite part was the music. There was one mission near the end that had glorious scoring. It was awesome.

Today's one of those days I feel the coming of graduation rather sharply. It's probably only going to get worse the closer we get, too. I think it's all gonna be okay. Just gotta stick to it, you know.

Anyway, that's all for today.

Saturdays Are Stupid Busy

I pre-purchased Guild Wars 2 today. Registered and everything. Stoked. I also managed to not die in Dungeons and Dragons hell today. More stoked. I haven't had much time to spend with my wife today. Not so stoked.

I don't really have time to blog for long today, either. So this is pretty much what you get.

Ciao, folks.