Die Alone -- Girls and Boys Review

Some time ago, while I was still posting almost daily on this blog, my cousin recommended an album for me to review (and analyze) as I had Forget and Not Slow Down. It was Girls and Boys by Ingrid Michaelson. Around that time I sat down and transcribed the lyrics to most of the songs on the album as I heard them. Then I sat on the lyrics, at first waiting for a time that I could listen to them and analyze the lyrics and music to get at the meaning and, less importantly, let you know if the songs are any good.

I can tell you most of the songs are pretty good in my book, if that helps.

Time passed, and distance made the heart grow more apathetic. I stopped blogging on here for what, four months? I've been sitting on a lot of drafts and not taking the time to dig into them, but now I'm getting to them because I'll be remiss if I let myself have a backlog when I'm supposed to have all this time on my hands. So pretty soon I'll be rolling out my song reviews for Girls and Boys and weighing in on the album as a whole. This may be my Monday posts for few months, or I might schedule them more sporadically. We'll find out when it happens, won't we?

Another note I wanted to make before I launched into this was that I loved on Forget and Not Slow Down hard last year, and Relient K's latest outing Collapsible Lung disappointed me so much that I cannot listen to older RK and feel the same way as I did. There might be a blog post, even a review of the new album, at some point. In fact, there's enough music for me to open up another day just for music talk.

Hit me up with your opinions about that. Any feeback is nope can't say it.

Let's get started.

Die Alone

(Ingrid Michaelson)

I woke up this morning

A funny taste in my head

Spackled some butter

over my whole-grain bread

Something tastes different

maybe it’s my tongue

something tastes different

suddenly I’m not so young

I’m just a stranger

Even to myself

A rearranger

of the proverbial bookshelf

Don’t be a fool girl

Tell him you love him

Don’t be a fool girl

You're not above him

I never thought I could love 

anyone but myself

now I know I can't love

Anyone but you

but you make me think that maybe I won't die alone

Maybe I won't die alone

Kiss the boys as they walk by

Call me their baby

But little do they know

I'm just a maybe

Maybe my baby will be the one to leave me sore

Maybe my baby will settle the score

I never thought I could love

anyone but myself

now I know I can't love

anyone but you

but you make me think that maybe I won't die alone

Maybe I won't die alone

What have I become?

Something soft

and really quite dumb

'cause I've fallen

'cause I've fa—fallen

'cause I've fall—fall—fallen

so far away from the 

place where I started from

I never thought I could love anyone

I never thought I could love anyone

I never thought I could love anyone

but you but you but you

(I never thought I could love anyone)

but you make me think that maybe I won't die alone

Maybe I won't die alone

---

First off, the beginning of this song is mighty tasty. I don't know what the style for the guitar is called. Blues came to my mind. Maybe it's more R&B? Or maybe I'm totally off. The play is three eighth notes on guitar before a snare hit on the beat. The distortion is used sparingly. This ain't a rock album, folks, not that rock is the only thing using distortion these days. The album's genre is listed as "pop-folk." I don't even. I can't wrap my head around today's classifications.

I'm noticing a lot of what sound like hand drums on this album, which is something I like. In this song they take a back seat to the electric guitar and drum kit, but that's fine.

Like I was saying, this song is tasty for the ears. The majority of the song is tonally minor, which suits my sensibilities. Michaelson's delivery blends just the right sweetness and edge to sell the lyrics. Okay, that's enough music talk for now. Lyrics time.

The first verse's lyrics are as tasty as the music, honestly. Our speaker wakes up (the opening line to the album, by the way) with "a funny taste in" her "head." That unusual sense pairing sets the tone for the song. A little tongue in cheek. A little off-kilter. As I mentioned parenthetically a moment ago, this opening stanza also colors the whole album experience (if you're listening sequentially like a good little consumer). The lines about "spackling" (an uncommon verb) butter onto "whole-grain bread" further characterize the speaker's predicament as something that takes place in the mundane world. There's still breakfast to make (and healthy choices to make about it). I think this emphasizes the intrusions of the speaker's sudden strange affliction. The next stanza says it plainly, albeit still strangely. "Something tastes different," Michaelson says. It could be her tongue, but the last line of that thought throws the whole concept of food out the window. She's abruptly "not so young."

A musical interlude breaks up the first two stanzas from the third, in which Michaelson says she's a "stranger/ even to" herself. She calls herself a "rearranger" of "proverbial bookshel[ves]." This is a person who doesn't know who she is, and this seems to unnerve her. This has all been back drop for the subject of the song, which starts in the next stanza.

The speaker addresses herself, goading her to man up and tell her love interest her feelings. The presence of this stanza amidst the rest of the monologue, as well as the melodic line it inhabits, creates the impression to me that the command comes from another part of Michaelson's psyche, probably one a little deeper and less burdened by the uncertainty Michaelson has been describing.

We then come to chorus, where Michaelson speaks directly to her love. What the chorus says is that the speaker never expected to love another, but that to her surprise she finds she can only love her man (sort of a cliché thing to say), and that this leads her to hope she won't "die alone." It should be noted that outside the chorus Michaelson doesn't appear to be speaking to him (see the line "maybe my baby... after the first chorus"). This contributes to the sort of disjointing that the song dwells in. It is also significant because the song dwells on Michaelson and her mental and emotional state, without describing the object of her love in any detail. All mention of him is filtered through a focus on Michaelson.

This could be taken as a sign of selfishness, but that the chorus departs from this by addressing Michaelson's love directly, and is seen as a sign of hope, takes that superficial reading and turns it towards a deeper meaning. That this lover could mean a significant departure from Michaelson's present state. Like a new taste. Like getting older.

But hope is not grasped once glimpsed. After the first chorus we get this stanza, where Michaelson calls herself a "maybe," drifting through relationships, unless her "baby" can do something about it. What is startling is what Michaelson suggests her baby might do. "Leave" her "sore." "Settle the score." This implies there may be some guilt behind Michaelson's descriptions of her malaise of uncertainty, echoing the omen of "suddenly I'm not so young," which is a pretty tightly written way to refer to loss of innocence as it's often depicted. I'm just reading into lyrics here, trying to fit pieces, so that could be bunk. But it seems to me the speaker in this song wants to change but needs help as hard as it is to admit, and even though it will probably hurt (soreness).

After the stanza (which is structured differently from the first verse) is another instance of the chorus, then the bridge which follows the thoughts established previously. Michaelson is astonished at what she's become, but what is that? "Something soft/ and really quite dumb." We get another layer, and part of the reason this song is tonally minor. I think Michaelson is not someone who wants to need a man. I think that idea rankles her, but that regardless she feels what she feels, as the chorus indicates. I don't think that's all of it, as I suggested when I was talking about the second verse. But if, desiring to be strong and smart (rather than soft and dumb), you've closed yourself off (which is rather hard and sharp), then the process of opening yourself up again is going to be both painful and difficult. This would also explain why Michaelson says she's "fallen so from the place that [she] started from." You don't aim to protect yourself so that you can turn out cruel. And we all ostensibly start from somewhere at least partly innocent.

And we end with the chorus. I failed to mention earlier that the chorus is tonally major, at least to an extent, which also separates it from the rest of the song. We end with hope, even if the hope is that Michaelson "won't die alone." Those last words are delivered just as the music ends, and the last note is dark.

Now, I have to say that all of this context I've been reading in this song has an extra layer from Michaelson's deliver, that much of this is a little tongue-in-cheek. At least, there might be a bit of satire in this, that it's not as serious as all that (or is it?). You don't ever get the sense Michaelson's moping in her room, struggling with depression. It's not that kind of minor tonality.

My verdict on the song is that its good. It's fun. I don't think it's a masterpiece, but it does provoke some thought, and like I said to start with, it's tasty to listen to. I've gone on quite long enough. Now to get to work on the other reviews.